Mark Walberg Has A Sense Of Humor After All

On Friday, a video from Jimmy Kimmel’s “show” came out that showed Marky Mark Walberg pissed at Andy Samberg for his impression last week.

The general internet consensus was that Walberg had no sense of humor whatsoever. Then this happened on Saturday.

NBC.COM VIDEO SINCE I DONT KNOW HOW TO EMBED THE STUPID THING

I guess everyone was wrong. Say hi to ya mothah for me.

 

Wicked Pissah! Red Sox Lose!

Thank you, Lord, for making this possible.

Last night, The Tampa Bay Rays thwarted a 3 game comeback from the Bahsten Red Sawks. You hear that moaning? Its the entire city of Boston, moaning that there are three whole weeks until the Celtics are back playing.

I hate to tell you, Boston fans, but this year is the opposite of last year. Last year, the Sox won the Series, the Pats went 18-1 (almost!), and the Celts won the Finals. This year, Brady has forsaken the Pats like they were pregnant with his baby, the Sox didn’t come back to win it, and the Celtics are a combined 900 years old and certainly won’t repeat. I take that back; I REALLY enjoyed saying that.

 

Picks, Real Quick Like

I gotta run, but here are my picks. I’ll update them next week after the games are over:

WAKE FOREST over Maryland: Fuck.
TEXAS A&M over Texas Tech: Missed this one, too. Like Cody said “A&M played as good as they could the first half, and they were still down. Texas Tech was just waiting to hang a bunch on them.”
GEORGIA over Vandy: Easy money.
OKLAHOMA over Kansas: Also easy money. OK looked really good again.
MICHIGAN STATE over Ohio State: Damn! Just when I wanted the Big 10 to look as bad as the ACC…
TEXAS over Mizzou: REALLY easy money. Is there a ranking higher than #1? Because Texas deserves it.

 

Obama Isn’t Socialist?

“I think when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody.”
-Barack Obama

You’re right. Actually sounds more Communist to me.

Semantics…

 

WHAT THE FUCK, AP POLLSTERS?

In this week’s biggest “bullshit” move, the UNC Tarheels jumped from #21 to #18 in the AP poll after holding off unranked Notre Dame’s final push that should’ve resulted in a TD. Wake Forest remained at #20 after beating a pre-season overranked Clemson, a conference rival that moved Wake Forest one step closer to the ACC title game.

What the fuck?

The same media machine that overrated Clemson preseason (thereby penalizing every team from that point forward that beats them) overrated Notre Dame at 4-1 into thinking that they deserved to be ranked. Notre Dame is still the prima-donna, poorly coached, mess of a team that it always was. They are no better a win than Clemson. Personally, I think UNC would lose to Clemson if they played, but that’s just me.

In positive news, Wake collected its second Bowden scalp when Tommy Bowden stepped down. At this point, people who fire coaches after Wake beats them should just start only signing coaches to one-year deals, because we’re COMING FOR YOU.

 

I Give Up

After last night’s final presidential debate, I have resigned myself to accepting the fact that Barack Obama will likely be our next President. I don’t like it, but I fear that its inevitable. I still have problems:

(1) As overrun as the point may be, he still doesn’t have the experience. Its just the truth. I like governors more than senators for president, so I guess I’m out of luck this cycle. But an inexperienced senator is right at the bottom of my list.
(2) The liberal health care agenda is dumb, and I’ll never support it. If they try to establish universal health care like Hillary was pushing, they’re gonna meet their first “See I told you that idea was dumb” mistake from the Republicans.
(3) He is smug, sensationalized, unqualified, and consisting of little more than fluff. Unfortunately, he’s also charismatic, young, decent-looking (I guess), and a great speaker. Its pretty obvious what people value.
(4) “Change” is a good platform, I guess, but the kinds of change that the left is pushing is like going from, well, white to black (pun intended). I agree that the system now doesn’t work, but to change it 180 degrees might have a few more growing pains than the granola-eating, electric-car driving left wants to admit.

I don’t know if John McCain would be a better president than Obama, but I’m scared enough of government to say yes. I will still vote McCain, but after these debates, I fear it won’t make a difference. Obama’s lead in swing states is over the margin of error; in some cases, WAY over the margin. Without Pennsylvania, Colorado, Florida, and Ohio, McCain is dead in the water. So on election night, I’m going to kick back, have a steak and a beer, and enjoy spending my own money the way I want to for the last time for four (eight?… ugh…) years.

I, for one, welcome our new Socialist overlords.

 

GO NOTRE DAME

Although many of my UNC friends wished Wake Forest luck in their nationally televised game against Clemson Thursday night, I still want UNC to beat Notre Dame. It would be good for the ACC to beat ND, and I’d looooove to see talk of ND being ranked get put to bed. But I’m Catholic and a Wake fan, so I want UNC to lose.

PICKS:
NOTRE DAME over North Carolina: So I missed this one. Carolina also lost one of their best players for the season. So did I really lose?
OKLAHOMA over Texas: Missed this one, too. Great game, maybe the best I’ve seen all year. Texas deserves #1 this week, and honestly I’d be ok if Oklahoma had gotten #2 even with a loss.
FLORIDA over Louisiana State: Saw this coming a mile away. Didn’t think it would be quite that bad, though. LSU, you can thank Ole Miss for that ass-kicking.
MIZZOU over Oklahoma State: Way to shit the bed, Mizzou. You had it in your stupid little hands and gave it back to ‘Bama.
ARKANSAS over Auburn: Tuberville, out? That’s what they all say. When Bobby Petrino and his band of special kids can beat your “elite” team, you might need to start looking for a new house in a new town. May I suggest Clemson?
PENN STATE over Wisconsin: Might be the best team in football. Watch out for PSU.
GEORGIA waaaaaaay over Tennessee: Closer than I thought, but at this point it really is like a bully beating up on a kid with no arms every time an SEC team plays UT.
VANDERBILT over Mississippi State: Yikes. I guess Vandy just couldn’t handle the pressure of being top 15.
WAKE FOREST over Clemson (yeah, I know its over but it still makes me SOOOO happy to write it)

 

Things That Suck At 2:00 a.m.

Fire alarms and the 30 minute response time of the Oxford Police Department.

That’s all.

 

People I Don’t Stop My Car To Let Cross The Street

(1) People who don’t use the crosswalk and choose to cross at a random point in the road. You deserve to be smeared across my hood. Or at least have the pee scared out of you when I jerk forward and act like I’m going to break your hip.

(2) Douchebaggy frat boys/walk of shame sorority girls. Just because its hilarious to see the guys act like they’re going to kick my ass and see the girls look at me like a puppy-dog that just got beaten. “No, girlie, the real abuse happened to your dignity last night at the ATO house.”

(3) Ole Miss students, generally. When I’m driving, people assume I’m going to let them cross without even looking or giving a shit. When I’m walking, people get pissed at me for doing the same thing. So screw all of them.

 

Josh Howard Needs To Keep His Mouth Shut

Howard in the middle of a hard night of boobie-jiggling, weed-smokin', and drift-racing. Also called "Thursday night".

Josh Howard, the last-first-round-draft-pick turned pride-of-Wake-Forest, is again in the news for being stupid.

First, he admitted to smoking pot in the offseason during last year’s playoffs, in which the Mavs were punished by real Wake Forest pride-and-joy Chris Paul. Can I really knock him for being truthful? Not really. Is it likely common that most NBA players do the same thing? Yes, truthfully. But it certainly was BAD timing.

Then, he got picked up in Winston-Salem, NC, for racing his car downtown going 94 mph in a 55 mph zone. Again, those in glass houses and all that jazz, but it shows that J-Ho’s decision making is certainly not improving.

Now, a crappy-ass youTube video from the Allen Iverson Flag Football something-or-other has surfaced. With the national anthem playing in the background, Howard says “”The Star Spangled Banner’s going on right now and I don’t celebrate that shit. I’m black.” For those true “People Know Me” fans who don’t want to support someone else’s site, here’s the video:

Really, Josh? You don’t celebrate the national anthem? You make like $10 million per year playing BASKETBALL here. You may get better treatment for your dark skin in Pakistan, but I’m pretty sure they don’t pay that well for people to put a ball through a hoop there. Stupid priorities, like “feeding my children” and “surviving”.

In all seriousness, does Josh Howard not pay people to help him keep his mouth shut? If he doesn’t, he needs to. I think they’re called “publicists”, and their whole job is to keep people from looking as bad as Josh Howard looks right now.

I’ll still wear my “#5 Howard” Mavs t-shirt, but I might die a little inside.